Conversation Failures – 8 Steps to Amend It – Part 1

You want to close the deal, win a client or get a new job. Does it sound like a goal on your list? Sometimes you use communication to get what you want in other areas of your life but there are times when your tactics are not effective, and you are unsure why. I’m not going to lie to you, there can be hundreds of reasons why but the strategies below will be the most commonly used in each area of your life. They are effective when you use them in addition to doing your normal job. So don’t think that reading the below will be enough, you need to do your job, whether you want to or not.

You’ve heard about active listening so many times, but you haven’t heard about the most practical use for it. Some of you will even think is just another trendy word used by coaches. However, nowadays, with all the multiple distractions of modern life, active listening is more important than ever. You need to be fully involved in the conversation – this will be the fastest and the simplest effect way of achieving your aims. You need deeply listen to your caller so that you don’t realize what time it is, you are not listening to a conversation in different room or looking at a new message coming on your phone. Active listening helps you to remember more information from your conversation because your focus is in one place. You will use less energy during your meetings when you focus fully just on listening because there is no need for ‘multi-tasking’ (I call this ‘losing attention’).

When you are ready to listen, you need to understand the idea of conversation, especially in business. You want to know what the main topic will be, so you can prepare before the meeting. Even when you meet with family or friends, think about all the thoughts which you want to share with them, what will be important and good to know for them and for yourself. It will make all conversation much more enjoyable because you will cut all that unnecessary information which doesn’t bring any value to the conversation.

Being interested in conversation and your caller is one of the easiest and most satisfying strategies. You don’t need to fake anything or pretend to like someone. I know that not all conversations are exciting or that all people will be interesting to you, but if you try to focus on the other person and treat each of them as a new experience and lesson in your life. I’m sure you can learn something new from everybody.

Do you judge before a conversation? You don’t need to answer this question out loud, we all know that we do this. To make you feel better, most people do it. However, crucially, for a happy end to future conversation; stop doing it. I know it won’t be easy but what will you get from your pre-judgments apart feeling better about yourself? It is time to leave your ego at home and move on. I used to judge people and situations all the time. So many times, with almost everybody but it was a result of my insecurity and lack of confidence. After a while I worked on it, I then met so many amazing people, built so many strong relationships and got clients who I wouldn’t have taken onboard before. Don’t expect it will change in the a but try to catch yourself every time when you do it and slowly minimise this over time.

Four easy steps to start on, but it is not the end. Next time I will add to your list so make sure you use all the above before these new ideas come to mind. Communication can be better and before you will try to change how you think of the caller, it is worth starting with yourself because maybe the reason a dialogue has failed sits with you. It is nothing to worry about because it is the ability to learn and master with practice that is the key. So, don’t be afraid to fail a few times more before the good results come because of your hard work.And stay tuned for next part, next week!

 

Nicole

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