We don’t know how to communicate. I know you will feel disappointed now and you will not agree. You can, but this is the truth. Over the last few weeks, I was checking and researching what are the reasons that cause people arguments or misunderstandings. There could be more than below eight, but I think they are the most common in business and private life.
The first one is your ego. You need to understand that it can be your nasty friend, and you should stop listening to them. It can lead you to winning, but just on one side, maybe you get what you want, you will burn all bridges. It is not worth it. Healthy communication is when both sides win, so if your big friend is pushing you in a different direction, maybe it is a time to learn how to manage it and change friends.
You live to get and pass information, and sometimes you don’t ever adapt them properly. You started to treat people in the same direction, just to get what you want to move forward. Simply, exchange is not feelings, it is like currency exchange – you get a different product, and that’s it. Communication should contain feelings, reflections, and should stay with you for longer than a few seconds. It should have questioning skills and active listening, so if it is missing, you are not going to have effective results.
You have phones for communication; however, you’ve learned how to use them to avoid other people. You don’t need to call your friend because, on InstaStories, they will show you what they do and how they feel, so there is no need to give them a call. I think the creator of those devices had a slightly different view on it, so instead of hiding, use it, give a call to people who you care about and show them that you are for them.
You judge everything, everybody – it is like the constant need of having an opinion. The one and quite an important factor about which you don’t want to remember is responsibility. Whenever you judge someone, you need to take it fully on yourself. If you hurt someone – it will be your fault; if you misjudge – it will be your fault. Thanks to this skill, you could lose a lot of new potential friends, employees, or lovers.
Do you have this feeling that you don’t like someone because you just feel it? You didn’t hear a single word from that person, you never met them before, but it is your first impression. The truth is that it is a reflection of yourself, your thoughts – there is nothing wrong with the other person, it means how you see yourself. Maybe it shocked you now, but we tend to pass feelings about others which we have about ourselves, so next time when you judge someone, make sure it is based on something more than ‘your feeling’ (about yourself).
Non-verbal communication can be misleading. Some signs which you see can be a result of weather condition, illnesses, or something that you are not aware of. It is worth to consider all three factors: voice, body language, and message.
Language, slang, or culture is most times visible as a barrier in communication, and they can be a reason of many destructions. Especially when you are in a different country, and you don’t know their habits or business code, it can cause you a lot of uncomfortable situations. The most important is to keep your mind open and be respectful of others because maybe they don’t speak the same language, but they are human, as you are.
Emotions are the biggest part of communication. If you don’t know how to manage them, you will be in trouble or become a troublemaker. Each feeling that you put towards your sentence can bring such a different effect. Sometimes, every simple ‘I’m fine’ can end up with a big argument or fascination conversation about last weekend. Every person who was or is in a private relationship is aware of it when the other half is coming back home and mentioning ‘I’m fine!’, you know that you have a problem. Putting feelings in a conversation makes it more real, authentic, and personal, but there needs to be a balance.
I hope some of the above eight reasons opened your eyes and I encourage you to make a little change. Even one small piece can give you a significant result. If you need more information about communication, I’ve created a special online course where I guide you step by step on how to communicate your way to success (you can find it HERE).